Dear Dude,
Muchas gracias for all the solids you’ve been doing to the aspiring shredders, I have been a big fan for a while now. My question is somewhat depressing. Basically I’m wondering when it’s time to give up on the dreams of rock? I’ve been putting all of my eggs in the metal basket for the past 10-12 years and nothing has ever really gotten going on. I’ve been in decent bands that broke up early, auditioned for touring bands but never got the gig, and I’m still never done even that one show I can look back on and be real proud of. I’ve sort of seen how most dudes have that initial bit of metal success from at like 20 years old, and at this point I’m breaking thirties door down-it’s hard cause it seems like everyone around me has gotten to do some awesome tour, or went some cool places, played with some good bands, drank some free beers, hooked up some with girls, or anything like that. I have nothing to show for any of my work except some unsold shirts and demo tapes from bands that broke up prematurely. At this point I’m basically a 30-year-old college dropout, with no skills or future prospects to speak minus my epic failing attempt at rock. Should I keep trying, or is it time to permanently shift gears into being a “fan” instead of “aspiring rocker?”
Thanks,
Too Old To Rock?
Dear Too Old To Rock,
Feel like your age is a fuse in the time bomb that’s your life? Guess what, I do too. In fact almost everyone I know who rocks for a living feels that way. So, rest assured you’re not alone and these feelings you have are not uncommon. It may even surprise you that many fellow dudes who are in some of the biggest/hottest metal core, metal, punk, hardcore, bands feel the same way as you. Look, my answer to the big question is, “Dude come on you know you’re never to old to rock!” But I know you all are going to think its just not that simple, so let me throw a few thoughts your way.
Musicians Best Friend: Perspective:
It’s a no brainier that in life to be successful you need to keep your perspective. The same holds true for music. You need to stop thinking about success in only one way. From your letter it appears that you define success as doing some awesome tours, going to cool places, playing with awesome bands, and fucking groupies. In the same letter you refer to your demos and unsold T-shirts in a way that implies failure. Dude, do you know how hard it is to get songs together and record one demo, let alone a few? It takes work, and it is an accomplishment. Besides being a tool to tour, party, and fuck chicks music is about artistic creation, artistic progression, and most of all (yeah MOST OF ALL) artistic expression. Did you express emotion, push yourself creatively, struggle to work those songs out, and beat yourself up while you recorded it? Chances are you did at least a little and that my friend IS success. There are plenty of people in the music world that look at Darkest Hour as a failure and some people that look at it as a huge success. But it’s all bullshit, look the grass is always greener. It’s a cliche expression but guess why; it’s totally true. Almost every band I know wants to be as big or as successful as some other band. It never ends. It can drive you and your band to insanity. That’s why no matter where you are in your musical career, be it the beginning or knee deep in the middle, you always have to keep some perspective in your back pocket. Trust me, looking at things in a different way is the first step to taking you somewhere new.
Define Those Goals:
Damn does some of this shit sound like school? Well, it’s because a lot of those same skills taught in school can ACTUALLY help you in real life! As with anything in life to be successful you have to define your goals. So you have presented me with, “do some awesome tour, go some cool places, play with some good bands, drink some free beers, and hook up some with girls.” Let me redefine those for you, how about, “record a new demo of your most killer material (spend more time and work as hard as you can), get a few local shows to work out the band live, and finally secure one national tour or record deal.” It may seem really vague but you got to start somewhere. Its obvious you want to tour, see the world, party a little, and live the life. Sure that’s actually an honest goal. But, the touring is the medium in which you present the tunes, if the tunes don’t connect with people your never going to gain fans, so touring is pretty much pointless. Define those goals because knowing what you want to do is the first step in actually doing anything.
I mean how hard are you working, really?
I understand as you get older life takes over. You have to get some kind of job, support yourself in someway, and hey just act like a fucking adult… I mean you are one. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find time to practice and continue to grow as a musician. Those demos you’re talking about could be the sickest shit ever or just fucking terrible. But either way your old enough now to realize that you can always get better, always grow, always adapt. You have to ask yourself, how much time do I spend trying to develop my musical ability? If the answer is actually only a few times a week, then dude you need to try harder. Yeah, sounds like stupid advice, but think about it, the more you practice the better you’ll get. The better you get, the better your chances of fulfilling any of the above goals (well, maybe not the whole groupies thing). I am a firm believer that music gets better with practice and it is of course that one constant that will always help you.
Persistence, guess what this shit sucks?
Ever read the lyrics to AC/DC’s “It’s a Long Way to the Top (if you want to rock and roll)”. Well, I think every dude that goes on tour should. Here is the real truth, there is no guarantee that if you try EVERYTHING you will get to be a big ass rock star. The reality is that being in a band sucks a lot of the time. It doesn’t have to, but it’s just the nature of most musicians to be miserable. So, you have to be persistent, become a hunter, or my favorite expression “be the ball!” Yeah its from the movie ‘Caddyshack’ but it just means become one with your goals and aspirations, become one with the universe, or simply fucking keep trying.
Perpetual Motion: What new have you tried this week?
You have to always be trying, searching, and reaching. If you want to make things work you have be willing to try. And if you’re willing to try you also have to be willing to fail. The question posed is, what new things have you tried this week? Some of the best advice ever given to me on guitar was to learn something new every day. This can also be applied to your career, so keep trying new things, new avenues, and new directions. Because if you’re doing that new doors will always open for you.
Mick Mars and Huey Lewis:
What do Mick Mars from Motley Crue and Huey Lewis have in common? They both started their careers at somewhat older ages. Mick Mars was 30 years old when he reinvented himself and joined Motley Crue. Huey Lewis, also a late bloomer found success much later in his life then the average rocker. If it can happen for them it can happen for you. So keep trying, work hard, keep perspective, and remember it’s all about the tunes!
The Dude
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