Dear All,

I have been held up in a recording studio for almost 5 weeks after 6 long months of hard work. As I write this letter I am sitting on a plane to Germany to start a Euro tour. Times are crazy over here but I am happy to announce that with the recording of the newest DH record out of the way I am able to get back to writing this little blog. I have tons of questions backed up and I will try to upload more as I complete them but it will be slow at first. So from European soil (or over international waters actually) I give you a long awaited Ask the Dude. If you live anywhere in the US make sure to come out to this years Summer Slaughter tour and say what’s up! 

The Dude

Dear Dude,

I have just come back from the recording studio (an expensive professional, won’t say who for anonymity) we as a band felt that by paying good money for a great demo/mini album (5 tracks) we’d be able to show record companies what our music is really like.

It went brilliantly, and even though I do say so myself, it sounds amazing, and I don’t seem to be the only one who thinks this. The producer, who after many days saying things like ‘fantastic, sounds massive, I love that bit there’ etc turned around and casually said ‘I can’t wait to pass this to XXXX, you know the main bloke at XXXX records (major label), I’m gonna ask him one question, why would you not wanna sign this band?, and I don’t think he’ll be able to, anyway, I’m gonna go and get a coffee…’

Now I know this guy was and is in a popular band from the 90’s, who have recently started touring again (Main stage at the main metal festival here in the UK) so I know he actually knows people in the right places (apparently he also mentioned a couple of other labels he is in touch with too).

Anyway, my question is, at the cusp of this exciting development in our bands career, I’m worried about how this is going to affect my life. I have a full time job, along with my boyfriend, and we have a house together, at the moment I’ve been doing recording, practice and touring by working around my job and stuff and booking time off. I want to be in a signed band and would have no problem with turning my job in to tour etc, but at this stage in our career, I really just want to know, what is the reality of being able to live off of a band that just got their first contract? I know at this stage you don’t get much money and it’s hard graft, but do you just get paid enough for you as person to live through the day or would I be able to send some rent money to my boyfriend? Where do you stay when you’re not touring? Would I maybe get paid enough (if I was frugal) to take my boyfriend with me, you know just give him enough to eat and sleep in the hotel rooms we would hopefully already get…?

Basically, while I’m excited about maybe being signed, I don’t want to get carried away, and want to know what’s it’s really like, so I can keep my feet on the ground.

Thanks,

Reality Check

Dear Reality Check?

Sounds to me like there are a few things going on that might not be the best things to facilitate a budding music carrier. I mean, shit, trying to do a band for a living is really, really hard. But trying to do a band for a living and support someone else while propelling your carrier, that’s a whole other set of problems! But lets not get too ahead of ourselves. These questions need to be broken down so we can look at the SEVERAL underlying themes.

First as I mentioned in the opening paragraph touring in a band full time is hard work and supporting someone else on a bands dime is even harder. I have been in bands with members who have as little as a phone bill a month to members who are helping to pay their half of a marriage that supports a baby. And while both are hard the latter is MUCH harder. After 14 years of a band many members of darkest hour have very little. That’s not to say we don’t have much or that “very little” is all relative but it is to say that well, no one is rich by anyone’s definition.  Some of us own homes with our wives and some of us cant keep the power on at their apartment. The same can be said for most “big” bands that we tour with. Fame is an illusion and it’s easy for people to “THINK” that an artist makes way more money then he or she actually does. So much of selling records is about building perception that its often times even hard for the actual artist to be able to tell the difference (and trust me that’s tricky business when that happens). So what’s the reality of being able to live off of a band that just got their first record contract?  That question is pretty much like asking what the probability of wining the lottery next week is. The chances of you being able to sustain ANY form of life let alone a decent quality of life are very thin. So thin in fact that with the way the music business is going your chances are getting thinner and thinner. Now that was not written in an attempt to dissuade you from trying or say that it’s not possible, it’s just well to tell you the truth - its very unlikely.

Now do I think you will be able to “get paid enough to have your boyfriend sleep in the hotel rooms and eat with you on tour?” Ah absolutely not. Lets face it if your boyfriend loves and cares about you well then he will not want to be dead weight. You would be surprised how many musicians rely on the support and hard work of their significant others. I can say for a fact that without the help of my wife I would be fucked! And the same can be said for many successful dudes and dudetts out there. You just need to take some time and look at your relationship. Does he work? Why not? Is he willing to work while you are on tour in order to supplement the income of your band? It seems like if he cares for you and your relationship with him then he will want you to be able to tour, pursue music, and facilitate that by working hard so that money wont be such an issue. You have a house together, that’s both of your responsibility. So first things first, let’s get this dude a job, because a relationship should be a 50/50 give and take. 

Second we need to manage our expectations. As artists you will always have people telling you you’re hot shit. And if its someone that is working with you in the form of a producer, manager, or agent well then you can expect even more of a sugar coating. Having a positive outlook is good but having overblown expectations is taking that to an unhealthy extreme. If I had a dollar for every time someone at a record label, management, or booking agent told me I was going to “hit it big” I would be a lot better off then I am now. So take this producers’ excitement with stride. Now this doesn’t mean don’t get excited and it doesn’t mean stop pursuing it or take it slow. It just means you have to understand all the angels. Its great that he is excited, its great that he is going to throw around the tunes and get them in the right hands (after all that’s half of getting signed right there), and its great they he likes the musical collaboration you have just completed with him. But don’t quit that day job yet, you have to stay focused on the real prize, writing and recording fulfilling music while making that home life work.

That brings me to my last point, know what your goals are. Look if you want music to take off so you can make some quick cash, screw around with your friends on tour and get paid, or just NOT have to get a real job, then your priorities are all messed up. There are much, easier, faster, simpler, ways to make money. If that’s your goal I am afraid you’ve already lost. That’s not to say if money isn’t your sole focus that you can’t obtain it. It’s just to say that based on my experience your going to end up failing because no one, even the dudes at the top, end up with all the cash. Now I know your just asking, will I be able to sustain a bit of a life? To that question I have some good news, it is possible. But it takes work, teamwork actually. Yes you can make “rent money,” you can manage money to meet monthy and daily expenses, but it takes organization, collaboration, and sacrifice. Darkest Hour makes ends meet but like I said even a band of our size still has plenty of the same problems that your facing. I think you need to get that significant other of yours to understand that he is tied to your success, that if he loves and cares for you he will help you pursue you dream, there is a way that you can both make this work but, its going to take sacrifice on both sides.

In conclusion this is what I am saying, you’re already making it work! You’re paying the bills, practicing, touring, and recording. You’re following the opportunities that arise. All you can do is continue moving forward. But It’s not the all or nothing road you think that’s ahead. Rather, this IS being in a band. The constant struggle to make financial life work while you pursue your life of art. Even the dudes in Van Halen face this on some level its just the nature of trying to build a life in the music business. Don’t let this letter talk you out of pursuing life in music because making a dollar is hard. Rather let it motivate you, its ok to work three jobs while trying to do a band. Its ok to struggle with making both lives work. To really make a band or life as a musician work you have to be ready to make it happen by any means necessary, and from the looks of it you have a really great start. So sit down with that dude of yours and talk about how you can make it work. Keep grinding it out and getting that cash from your 9 – 5 job. Keep you eye on the prize: Making music work while not neglecting your life. I believe that if you stay focused, work hard, then the right opportunity will come along that will allow you to spend more time on music. With faith in each other you and your significant other can make your bills work and your dream a reality.

The Dude

Dear Dude,

Muchas gracias for all the solids you’ve been doing to the aspiring shredders, I have been a big fan for a while now. My question is somewhat depressing. Basically I’m wondering when it’s time to give up on the dreams of rock? I’ve been putting all of my eggs in the metal basket for the past 10-12 years and nothing has ever really gotten going on. I’ve been in decent bands that broke up early, auditioned for touring bands but never got the gig, and I’m still never done even that one show I can look back on and be real proud of. I’ve sort of seen how most dudes have that initial bit of metal success from at like 20 years old, and at this point I’m breaking thirties door down-it’s hard cause it seems like everyone around me has gotten to do some awesome tour, or went some cool places, played with some good bands, drank some free beers, hooked up some with girls, or anything like that. I have nothing to show for any of my work except some unsold shirts and demo tapes from bands that broke up prematurely. At this point I’m basically a 30-year-old college dropout, with no skills or future prospects to speak minus my epic failing attempt at rock. Should I keep trying, or is it time to permanently shift gears into being a “fan” instead of “aspiring rocker?”

Thanks,

Too Old To Rock?

Dear Too Old To Rock,

Feel like your age is a fuse in the time bomb that’s your life? Guess what, I do too. In fact almost everyone I know who rocks for a living feels that way. So, rest assured you’re not alone and these feelings you have are not uncommon. It may even surprise you that many fellow dudes who are in some of the biggest/hottest metal core, metal, punk, hardcore, bands feel the same way as you. Look, my answer to the big question is, “Dude come on you know you’re never to old to rock!” But I know you all are going to think its just not that simple, so let me throw a few thoughts your way.

Musicians Best Friend: Perspective:

It’s a no brainier that in life to be successful you need to keep your perspective. The same holds true for music. You need to stop thinking about success in only one way. From your letter it appears that you define success as doing some awesome tours, going to cool places, playing with awesome bands, and fucking groupies. In the same letter you refer to your demos and unsold T-shirts in a way that implies failure. Dude, do you know how hard it is to get songs together and record one demo, let alone a few? It takes work, and it is an accomplishment. Besides being a tool to tour, party, and fuck chicks music is about artistic creation, artistic progression, and most of all (yeah MOST OF ALL) artistic expression. Did you express emotion, push yourself creatively, struggle to work those songs out, and beat yourself up while you recorded it? Chances are you did at least a little and that my friend IS success. There are plenty of people in the music world that look at Darkest Hour as a failure and some people that look at it as a huge success. But it’s all bullshit, look the grass is always greener. It’s a cliche expression but guess why; it’s totally true. Almost every band I know wants to be as big or as successful as some other band. It never ends. It can drive you and your band to insanity. That’s why no matter where you are in your musical career, be it the beginning or knee deep in the middle, you always have to keep some perspective in your back pocket. Trust me, looking at things in a different way is the first step to taking you somewhere new.

Define Those Goals:

Damn does some of this shit sound like school? Well, it’s because a lot of those same skills taught in school can ACTUALLY help you in real life! As with anything in life to be successful you have to define your goals. So you have presented me with, “do some awesome tour, go some cool places, play with some good bands, drink some free beers, and hook up some with girls.” Let me redefine those for you, how about, “record a new demo of your most killer material (spend more time and work as hard as you can), get a few local shows to work out the band live, and finally secure one national tour or record deal.” It may seem really vague but you got to start somewhere. Its obvious you want to tour, see the world, party a little, and live the life. Sure that’s actually an honest goal. But, the touring is the medium in which you present the tunes, if the tunes don’t connect with people your never going to gain fans, so touring is pretty much pointless. Define those goals because knowing what you want to do is the first step in actually doing anything.

I mean how hard are you working, really?

I understand as you get older life takes over. You have to get some kind of job, support yourself in someway, and hey just act like a fucking adult… I mean you are one. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find time to practice and continue to grow as a musician. Those demos you’re talking about could be the sickest shit ever or just fucking terrible. But either way your old enough now to realize that you can always get better, always grow, always adapt. You have to ask yourself, how much time do I spend trying to develop my musical ability? If the answer is actually only a few times a week, then dude you need to try harder. Yeah, sounds like stupid advice, but think about it, the more you practice the better you’ll get. The better you get, the better your chances of fulfilling any of the above goals (well, maybe not the whole groupies thing). I am a firm believer that music gets better with practice and it is of course that one constant that will always help you.

Persistence, guess what this shit sucks?

Ever read the lyrics to AC/DC’s “It’s a Long Way to the Top (if you want to rock and roll)”. Well, I think every dude that goes on tour should. Here is the real truth, there is no guarantee that if you try EVERYTHING you will get to be a big ass rock star. The reality is that being in a band sucks a lot of the time. It doesn’t have to, but it’s just the nature of most musicians to be miserable. So, you have to be persistent, become a hunter, or my favorite expression “be the ball!” Yeah its from the movie ‘Caddyshack’ but it just means become one with your goals and aspirations, become one with the universe, or simply fucking keep trying.

Perpetual Motion: What new have you tried this week?

You have to always be trying, searching, and reaching. If you want to make things work you have be willing to try. And if you’re willing to try you also have to be willing to fail. The question posed is, what new things have you tried this week? Some of the best advice ever given to me on guitar was to learn something new every day. This can also be applied to your career, so keep trying new things, new avenues, and new directions. Because if you’re doing that new doors will always open for you.

Mick Mars and Huey Lewis:

What do Mick Mars from Motley Crue and Huey Lewis have in common? They both started their careers at somewhat older ages. Mick Mars was 30 years old when he reinvented himself and joined Motley Crue. Huey Lewis, also a late bloomer found success much later in his life then the average rocker. If it can happen for them it can happen for you. So keep trying, work hard, keep perspective, and remember it’s all about the tunes!

The Dude

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Dear Dude,

I have been playing in a Speed/Death Metal band that is signed and tours nationally. Recently one of our members has been taking the back stage partying to a level that seems unhealthy. Now I know that partying and rocking go hand in hand but it just feels wrong. So I guess my question is, what is the best way to know your fellow band member has a problem? What are the warning sings? You know being in a band is hard because not only are you always around drugs, alcohol, and partying but you’re also expected to live the role. And following that question what is the most democratic way to confront a member with such a problem?

Thanks,
The Party Police

Dear Party Police,

Alcoholism, drug use, shit, the list of vices that threaten musicians are endless and go hand in hand with what some people believe is the role of or rock star. Living this false identity is a fast track to self destruction. I have seen some really stupid band and personal decisions made by musicians who are struggling and suffering with substance abuse problems. In my day I have done everything from drive a fellow musicians to the hospital so dehydrated they can’t stand to even at one point calling a dude’s mom! But to get you some real perspective I contacted a good old friend of mine who has lived that nightmare himself.

Infamous as much for their touring antics as their crazy-ass live show, anyone who knows anything about the evolution of Punk/Hardcore/Metal in the mid to late 90’s has at least heard of Burlington Vermont’s, Drowningman. And no one can speak better on this issue than lead singer Simon Brody. Simon took some time to write about his perspective as shaped by a dude who has, well to put it simply, been through it all!

Simon writes:

“Living the role? Hmmm. I’m assuming that your band-mate might not be in the financial position to afford blood transfusions from 12 year old Filipino boys ala Keith Richards nor is in a situation where he can send his personal man-servant to pump gas for him at the local Exxon station between tours.

A lot of people in bands start living like a “rock star” a little prematurely. It sounds to me like what you might be talking about is having an impact on his life outside the band. This is the point where I tell you very clearly that thinking in terms of what is or is not “democratic” is not the way to go about this. You have to approach this person with concern for him as a dude. If it’s fucking with his ability to function, you or whoever is closest to him need to sit him down and express your concern for him as a friend and not make him feel like he is under attack.

If you are just concerned with him because he is your band mate and how he is playing and how it reflects on your band you’d probably be better off playing with someone else. Mike has said more than a few times on this site a band should be approached like a family.

People that make the best music or art are often hurting dudes inside. When my band broke up, I was unable to see how fucked up my behavior had gotten and all I was hearing was about how the business side of things were getting fucked up. What I really needed to hear was that the guys in my band were worried about me and cared about me as a person but by then I had made myself pretty difficult to have a rational conversation with.

I’m just saying how it was for me hoping that someone doesn’t have to make the same mistakes. I’m pretty proud of what I did when I was making music. I was a pretty angry person and the music Drowningman made showed that pretty clearly. It just got to the point where I was getting too drunk and high to play, because I was happy or because I was sad and sometimes just because I couldn’t think of anything better to do. Eventually that anger and energy got replaced by numbness most nights. I forgot who I was and I paid for it.

Showing your dude you care about him is the first step. Help him out, talk to him, maybe he needs more help than you can give him in which case you might need to see that he gets more serious help but do it with compassion and kindness.”

Simon’s advice comes from the heart and should be headed. Oftentimes dealing with band members or fellow musicians who have drug or alcohol abuse problems can be an uphill battle. You have to dismiss your fear of confronting said band member. Its not gong to be easy, they are probably going to react negatively at first and its going to take a bit of compassion, kindness, understanding, and whole shit load of patience. Don’t let your love for the band, or drive to make your band successful, cloud your ability to see if your band members need help.

Here is a brief list of symptoms you might observe if your dude has a problem. Keep in mind this is not a definitive list, alcoholism and drug use is a complex problem. This list of symptoms is also a good way to check yourself. Ask yourself? Do you have any of these tendencies? If so, do you have the ability to self regulate and change these patters?

Signs and Symptoms of potential drug or drinking problems:

- Continuing to drink even though you have health problems that are affected or caused by your drinking.

- Band member is caught driving while under the influence (DUI), or engaging in similar risky behavior without being caught.

- Missing band practice or shows, or showing up late due to alcohol or drug use.

- Feeling annoyed when other people comment on, or criticize your drinking habits.

- Continuously scheduling your day around drinking or drug use.

- Band member exhibits strong and overwhelming desire to drink alcohol at a specific time or even the next morning.

- Creating a ritual of having drinks before, with, or after playing and becoming annoyed when this pattern is disturbed or questioned.

- A tendency to drink more than intended to feel the same effect, or being unable to stop drinking once you start to drink alcohol.

- Consuming a large quantity of alcohol without appearing intoxicated.

- Not remembering conversations or commitments; sometimes referred to as a “blackout.”

- Losing interest in activities and hobbies that were once pleasurable.

- Focusing all recreational activities around obtaining alcohol, drinking or recovering from alcohol use.

- Drinking alone or in secret.

The following questions taken from www.helpguide.org are a good way to help give you perspective on this. I have reprinted the info here but feel free to check out the site. Other really good resources are the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism or the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

Would you or your fellow band member answer yes to one ore more of the following questions in the past 12 months?

- Have you, more than once, driven a vehicle while you were drinking, or after having had too much to drink?

- Have you gotten into situations while drinking, or after drinking, that increased your chances of getting hurt—like swimming, using machinery, walking in a dangerous area, or near heavy traffic?

- Have you continued to drink even though you knew it was causing you trouble with your family or friends?

- Have you gotten into physical fights while drinking, or right after drinking?

- Have you gotten arrested, been held at a police station, or had any other legal problems because of your drinking?

Would you answer yes to three or more of the following questions during the past 12 months?

- Have you had times when you ended up drinking more than you meant to, or kept on drinking for longer than you intended?

- Have you, more than once, wanted to, or tried to stop or cut down on your drinking but found you couldn’t?

- Have you found that you have to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want, or that your usual number of drinks has much less effect on you than it once did?

- When the effects of alcohol are wearing off, have you had trouble sleeping, or experienced physical symptoms such as shaking, feeling nervous, nauseous, restless, sweating or rapid heartbeat? Have you sensed things that aren’t really there, felt bugs crawling on your skin, or had seizures?

- Have you taken a drink or used any drug or medicine (other than over-the-counter pain relievers) to avoid having bad after-effects of drinking, or to get over an after-effect of alcohol use, or hangover?

- Have you continued to drink even though you knew it was making you feel depressed or anxious, causing a health problem or making one worse, or has caused a blackout?

- Have you had a period when you spent a lot of time drinking, being sick, or getting over the negative after-effects of drinking?

- In order to drink, have you given up, or cut down on activities that were important to you, interesting or pleasurable?

Look, sometimes you maybe forced to cancel shows or even tours dealing with problems like this. It’s just important to keep things in perspective. Getting your band popular, selling records, pushing those CD’s, trying to build that band to get on the tours you want, trying to pull yourself and band out of debt, trying to fuck that super model, etc. All these goals are never more important then the health and the well being of your fellow band members. Don’t get so caught up in the game that you live with blinders on. Musicians are people first and entertainers second. Record labels, booking agents, managers, promoters, and even fans all have things they depend on or demand from bands and their members. The only people that have the perspective to be able to understand us fellow musicians are, other musicians. So it’s up to all of us as brothers and sisters of life on the road to look after each other and keep our friends in check.

The Dude

Dear Dude,

I have been playing in a recently signed full time touring band since April and recently thought of quitting. This was due to not making any money, having rough things going on at home, gear messing up…etc. Pretty much the standard rigors of touring. All the other dudes in the band have been playing together since they were sixteen and the reason I was chosen to play with them is because I was a close friend and could tour and handle the material. Their guitarist that I replaced can’t tour and has a college career, but still is friends with all of the guys and writes the majority of the material in the band. As a quick background on me, you should know I’ve been playing in about 3-4 bands over the last 7 years, mainly leaving bands because the people I’m in them with have drug problems, money issues, weird personalities. I’ve always moved on because I want this to be my career and with this band I thought I had finally found something that works. I brought them a Trailer, GPS, paid the van insurance since I joined, learned their songs quickly, rearranged my life and school (I go to college online now) and even moved closer so I could work with them. On the day that I said I didn’t know if I could do the band anymore, I had all of the normal tour problems plus they told me their old guitarist back home who is not touring will be recording their next record, so most likely the only money I would see from the band at all was the recording budget we didn’t use to be split up between band members and I wasn’t even going to see that. The other guitarist who is the unspoken leader of the band told me that it was a stupid move and I countered with that I could go play for other bands, because I’m a decent guitarist. I want to stay in THIS band though. He and the band took it as I was doing them a favor and taking what they gave me for granted. I stupidly then said that he doesn’t understand because he’s not the best guitar player and therefore couldn’t go to another band easily. BIG MISTAKE DUDE! So now he wants me out of the band and I’m pretty much stuck here on tour with them while they hate my guts. I didn’t mean it the way it was said, but it was still said regardless. Is there any way I can repair this band? Should I move on? I don’t want to lose friends most of all but cant help but feeling a bit screwed. And at the same time I feel like I shouldn’t have said such cruel things to my friends who gave me an opportunity. Help me dude!

Thanks,
Big Mistake?

Dear Big Mistake?,

Damn, shit can get hot on tour can’t it? Man if there is anyone who knows how to cut into you, it’s your band mates. Being in a band full time means you’re forced to deal with your band members full time. When you’re out there living on tour, grinding it out, you will learn all of your band mates’ weaknesses and neuroses. And although this dude is actually professionally trained in communication skills I still find myself in these types of situations all the time. Bands are like mini family units made of mostly brothers, and brothers do like to take the piss out of each other, and then some. With this in mind you will find yourself on both ends of some dirty comments. Its important to acknowledge that these things will happen and it’s also important to acknowledge that you may be at fault some of the time (how much, well that’s up to you). Its from the base of acknowledging that these altercations can and will happen that you must draw both patience and perspective in order to look at your problem in a way that will move you in a positive direction towards working things out.

Dude, you have yourself a bit of a mess. It sounds like the family structure of the band is all messed up. I have never seen a band have separate touring/writing members (some designated for touring others designated for only recording and writing) and do it successfully. That’s not to say it hasn’t happened, but in my 15 years or so of experience I have never seen it work, not once. Really the band needs to choose between you and the other member who is at home/college, but its obvious they have chosen that member over you, if they are planning on having that member write and record the next record anyway.

In this situation I think it’s in your best interest to bow out. You do have a history of flopping around bands so you should do some soul searching. Do you jump ship whenever it gets hard for bands? I mean all those “standard rigors of touring” are not going to change, they are constant and you will almost always be up against them in one form or another (shit it will probably get even worse!). Ask yourself, is there something about the way I interact with band members that has you jumping bands? You mention drugs and money which are always two ingredients needed to fuck a band up, so chances are you’re probably making the right move each time. It’s just always good to self check yourself. Is there something you can do in future that will make the inter-band dynamics better? You have to be able to ask yourself these questions as well as answer them if you’re hoping to grow as an artist, band member, and person.

It’s understanding (although not in your best interest) why you attacked your band mate (other guitarist) when he confronted you with the fact that the other member would be recording the record. Shit you could have been having the worst day on tour ever and then your boy drops this shit on you, it’s enough to make anyone say some dumb shit in defense. Of course it’s the dumb shit you said that will make it hard for you to see a return on the money you had invested in the band (IE trailer, GPS, etc).

Lets look at a more productive way to solve this problem. You need to communicate clearly! By the way your write this letter it reads like your on tour. Tour is the best place to resolve differences like this actually. It forces you and the other band members to interact as well as have to communicate, this means you have to at least find some sort of comfortable resolution so you can play shows night after night and not want to kill each other on stage. I would get the guitarist (unspoken leader) alone and speak with him one on one. You have to tell him that you understand that you made a mistake and shouldn’t have said you were not longer into the band. You should then apologize for saying that he was not a good enough guitarist. I mean this is petty but its good to acknowledge that you are sorry because right or wrong you definitely shouldn’t say shitty things to your dudes.

After you have apologized say that you understand your not working out in the band and that its clear they would rather work with the other guitarist who is not committed enough to the band to tour full time (that’s their loss). You have to convince him (the other guitarist) that the fair thing to do is at least compensate you for the time you have spent on tour and the other items you have purchased for the band. Now chances are there is no profit from tour, lets face it most of the time there just isn’t. This doesn’t however mean that the band should not pay you back for the trailer, GPS, and back insurance. Those are both separate business expenses that transcend the use of just one tour and therefore you should in all fairness be entitled to full reimbursement for these items. Tell the guitarist that you agree to fulfill any commitments that the band has already, you cant ask for your money back and then cut off their way to make money by leaving. Its really important that you stress that you care about what’s fair and that you care about making things right. I promise if you show you are willing to help them out by helping the band survive they will in turn reflect that by eventually paying you back. Oh did I mention it may take a bit of time to get money (especially for something as big as a trailer)? That’s ok, its just the nature how bands work financially, they are broke most the time.

After you have had your sit down with the (unspoken) leader of the band your going to have to talk to the other members. Again its good to talk to them when they are alone, each person acts differently to stuff like this so its good to have these type of conversations one on one. You need to reiterate to all the members that your not pissed, you are bummed you have to leave the band, but your going to man up have fun on what’s left of the tour and make sure they are taken care of so that they can take care of you.

Is there any way you can repair this band? Probably not, but its not impossible. I have seen bands bounce back from some pretty insane fights. One of the nice things about arguing like brother is that usually shit can be dropped or squashed easily. Most of the time band members grow thick skin to protect themselves and that’s kind of a must for tour life. But I think the real question is your second, Should I move on? In summery, yes I think you should move on. It just seems too unhealthy and unorganized. Its not worth putting all the time and effort to grow a band if your not writing, recording, or at least participating in the musical side of the bands life. In addition, you may be good friends with the band mates but its really not worth putting yourself through the emotional roller coaster of being in a band if they would still rather have someone else write and perform on the record.

Move on take your ambition and find a band that is ready to focus on touring, recording, and playing shows, that’s where all you and your band mates attention should be right now anyway. Good Luck out there.

The Dude

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Dear Dude,

First off HUGE fan!

I play in a Psychobilly band. We had to cancel the last 3 practices because our guitar player went out of town / anniversary / Lyle Lovett. Now he’s saying that he doesn’t like the band anymore and doesn’t feel like were going in the “direction” he wants. He claims, “were too hard to be a Psychobilly band.” When it’s he that writes most of the songs. He would rather play Honky Tonk Rockabilly and as of last month started drumming for a band that plays that style but only does covers. Anyways what do you think we should do, besides break his face?

Thanks,
Psychobilly Freak Out!

Dear Psychobilly Freak Out!

First of all breaking his face is not an option, physical violence against band members no matter how drunk, high, or angry the parties are should never be entered in the equation. With that out of the way, I can say there have been more then a few times I have wanted to “break some faces!” Music is personal, music is emotional, and music involves artists injecting part of themselves into the overall product. These three things can lead you to think emotional and irrationally about the predicament of your band. So lets try to tear away all the emotional garbage and take a look at this problem.

Ok, the main fact here is he is the main songwriter. This causes a huge problem for you and the other band members if he wants to leave. Its funny that he says its not going in the direction he wants it to while he is the main songwriter but thats not uncommon. I mean maybe he just doesn’t understand the style you really want to do, or maybe it just seems different to him when your band jams, or maybe its because he would rather play drums then guitar and not have the burden of songwriting on his hands. Whatever the reason (and I am sure I could list 10 or 15 more) his heart is not in it anymore and he is choosing to walk away from the band.

Now you are confronted with a choice. Let him leave and break up, or replace him and move on, The one thing that is clear is the current band climate is not working. So what’s The Dude’s advice? I say let him leave. Tell him you wish him luck and hope to play with his new band some day. There is no reason to fight his leaving. If he is not going to practice and doesn’t feel the music it will be a waste of time for to go forward with him. But this does not mean break up? Shit it’s just a minor bump in the road. You know how many band members I have had to replace? If I had a dollar for each time I could retire and just write advice for free all day! I have seen other bands go through major line up changes and still survive.

My advice is find another guitarist who understands the style you’re trying to rock. Shit replacing a guitarist is the next easiest thing to replacing an amp. Hopefully you will have no problem finding that dude who will fit in. I know it seems scary but move on, and most of all don’t give up. It’s a tough road but, you can and will survive, for those who try to rock, I salute you!

The Dude

Dear Dude,

My band recently started touring more and although I love it to death it has really been taking a toll on my relationship with my girlfriend. At home we talk and hang out all the time, everything is cool. But as soon as I go on tour it gets ugly. We get into a lot of fights on the phone and I find myself even dreading calling her now. I was wondering how do you juggle your life at home (specifically calling your wife) while on tour? How do you make a long distance relationship work when your never in the same place and working all the time? Do you think I should break up with her or is this something that band members go through all the time? I know this are weird questions but I hope you can help.

Thanks,

The Touring Gentleman

Dear Touring Gentleman,

Keeping your relationship alive, healthy, and most of all positive, while on tour is one of the hardest things to do as a touring musician. I have watched many a rock star hide behind a trailer all night or lock themselves in a bathroom stall for that 5-hour long argument with their significant other. There is so much temptation on tour and even the idea of that temptation can drive your girlfriend/boyfriend to madness while they are at home. The most important ingredient is trust. Having that means communication is not the whole battle, its just one part. You have to make sure that your significant other trusts you and you trust them. It’s a big step in making a relationship work while on tour. This means you can’t cheat on her, you can’t fuck around, you have to be honest and stick to it. This also means that if you ruin this bond of trust you may just doom the relationship forever. The same is true for her. You must have defined and clear lines of what is ok in your relationship and what is not. Its going to be different for every couple but it is very important to take the time before you go on tour to define the parameters or your relationship. I can honestly guarantee if you address this issue before you go on tour your overall communication skills and overall relationship will be better.

I am going to admit that along with the following advice you’re going to need 3 big servings of understanding, patience, and most of all trust. These three attributes are a must to making any relationship survive life on the road and are crucial to the process. But lets get into specifics.

Designated Call Times: Born of the payphone, this is a technique that my wife and I used before the age of cell phones. That being said it’s still a nice technique and can even be applied to the cell phone/internet generation. Chances are the two of you will be on totally different schedules while you’re on tour, and it may be difficult to find a time when it’s good for both you of you to talk. Phone tag is something you definitely want to avoid. It can breed insecurity, and the last thing you want is for her to think you don’t have time for her. So, try setting designated talk time. Think about your next day in advance and pick a 20 to 30 min window that you know you wont be driving, loading in, sound checking, sitting at the merchandise table, setting up before the show, etc. I’m telling you, if you give her an idea of the next time you will talk then all that uneasiness or worry will slowly dissipate. Relationships work well when they work consistently well so try to make those calls consistent. Remember to call when you say you will, and make sure you have the time you promised available. It’s the consistency that will keep her at ease when your on the road. In this instance consistency shows you value her time and will build trust. Coincidently it works really well when your international and need to keep that phone bill to a minimum. So, Mr. Touring Gentleman start working out designated times you can talk and stick to them. I guarantee you will see things get better fast.

Embrace the Electronic Age: Personal communication is a booming field. The rock Gods have blessed us with Skype, the iphone, Black Berry, instant messenger, video chat, oh and my personal favorite, the international cell phone plan. All of the above (plus the three more techniques that just got invented as I write this) have become tools to help keep our ever globalized world expanding. It has brought personal communication to a new height and it us up to you to use these tools while on tour. Video chat is cool but usually involves needing both of you to be online in a quiet place at the same time. This is sometimes hard. Skype, ichat, and Internet phones are nice and cheap. I see many a touring musician using these more and more often. The Black Berry phone is in my personal arsenal. It allows you to do Black Berry to Black Berry messaging free anywhere in the world anytime. Instant messenger is a must, its great while your working in a loud areas or doing work on your computer while on tour. Anyway what’s my point? Well it’s to start embracing all these communication outlets in order to make sure your home your life doesn’t get neglected. The world becomes a smaller place every second, and as a touring musician you need to use this to your advantage every step of the way.

Make sure she has a life of her own: Now this may seem harsh, but this is actually a major problem I see in most unhealthy relationships on tour. You don’t want your significant other to be living vicariously through you. He or she needs to have his or her own goals, ambitions, and aspirations. Otherwise its just the YOU show and that can get old real quick. The most unattractive quality a girl can have to me is laziness. You can’t let her get so wrapped up in your life that she forgets about her own. You need to encourage her to have aspirations and goals, as well as a strong social network. I know one of the main things that helps my wife, when I’m away from home for long periods, is her friends and busy social life. Equally you have to make it clear to her what your goals and aspirations are. I mean, if she knows you’re out there slumming it so that one day you can do this or that professionally, then it’s clear you have a defined goal your working towards. Damn, in two minutes you can go from loser musician to dude who is following his dream, and hopefully it will be contagious. If she realizes you have a plan for the future she will want one for herself. This is going to take time and work but it is essential to having a healthy relationship on tour. In fact I can state that every healthy relationship I have observed on tour is between two individuals who both have clear goals and are striving for success together as a couple.

Should you break up with her? Dude that is a complicated question to answer in one email response. I can tell you that every good relationship goes through tough spots, and every good relationship involves work. But let me say this, a good first step would be to evaluate your relationship based on the above information and then take steps to try and work on those things. Ask yourself, do I do the best job in communicating regularly? Is trust an issue in my relationship? Do both members of the relationship have goals and direction that help both remain focused on the bigger picture of life? These are all hard questions but they must be asked. By forcing yourself to work on these components of your relationship you will find it will help your growth as a couple and as individuals, and it’s this growth that will make for a strong enough relationship to survive even the longest tour.

The Dude

Dear Dude,

I’m 19 and attending college right now working on getting my bachelor’s degree in engineering. I love Darkest Hour and I see you’ve gotten yourself a college degree so maybe you could give me some advice. How did you handle managing your time between playing music and schoolwork? I know that a lot of guys in bands never went to college and dedicated their time to music but I really want to be able to support myself in case things don’t go my way.

Thanks,
Student of Rock!

Dear Student of Rock,

Playing in a full time band and going to college full time go together about as good oil and water. Both lifestyles seem to work directly against each other. Parents often times pressure you to quit your band because they fear it will interfere with your studies (which they always think are more important) and your band mates pressure you because they are afraid attending college might in some way hold the band down or keep them from opportunities. Is there a way to do both? How do you handle schoolwork, playing music, developing a band, and still keep your sanity? I can help with the fist couple but the sanity part, well that might just be up to you.

When I attended college it was for a total of five consecutive years. Darkest Hour existed the entire time since we had started in high school. We were a signed touring band for the last 2 1/2 years of my college life and let me tell you it was not easy by any stretch of the word. Here are some tips that can help:

1. Use Your Breaks: The number one thing we did to work around my school schedule was to schedule touring around college breaks. We went on tour anytime I had a 4-day break. We would do weekends up and down the east coast, and on winter and summer breaks we booked longer tours. There wasn’t a whole lot of pressure to tour (and we had to book it ourselves which was hard as shit) so that made it at least easier to sneak shows in between class days without worrying about having to tour and miss class.
2. Schedule Your Life: Another thing I would do was stack all my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was also working as a bike messenger for 4 of those years and was able to only work on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This allowed me to work and go to school all during the workweek. Since Friday’s and Saturday’s are the key nights to play when your doing one off shows this worked out nicely. The other thing this allowed me to do was book long weekends. Since I didn’t have to be back to class until the next Tuesday I could leave Thursday night and we could play shows Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. That’s a nice four-day block I could do anytime.
3. Talk to Those Teachers: It’s a common misconception that college teachers are hard asses. Honestly, I got along with almost all my teachers and it was pretty clear that I didn’t fit in. In my graduating social work class there couldn’t even have been more then 10 men total and I was one of five or so in his twenties. Oh, I guess the tattoos and fact that I was always doodling Van Halen and Pantera logos all over the place didn’t help. All my teachers knew my situation and all were pretty understanding, as long as the work I turned in showed that I had put in the appropriate amount of time and thought. Get them on your side, everyone loves a story about someone chasing their dream. Especially teachers.
4. Learn How to Study: I’m not going to lie I didn’t go to class all the time. I now wish I had paid a bit more attention. But what I did learn fast was how to study. You need to look at how your teachers present information and learn how to pick out what is important and what you will be tested on (hint: they are usually the same thing). Doing all the reading assigned to your course goes hand in hand with learning what to study. All those weekend tours and trips, those drives are the perfect time to get that reading done.
5. Manage that Time: In this instance college is a perfect way to prepare you for the world after it. If you continue to pursue that career in music you are going to have to learn how to juggle a whole bunch of shit at once. My fifth and final year of college I held down a forty hour a week internship, recorded So Sedated So Secure, went to school full time, and worked on the weekends. It was unforgiving and brutal most time but that’s what college is about. If I were you I wouldn’t get sucked into all the parting. It’s fun but really you will have plenty of time to party back stage. Its best to just focus and get’er done. That way you can get the hell out and start rocking the world.
6. Don’t be Afraid to Lean on Your Friends: Lets be clear I couldn’t have made it through all those years in school and kept the band alive if my band mates weren’t cool dudes. They were always very supportive, and I owe them for that patience. I also had the very awesome support of my now wife but then girlfriend. Without her there is no way I could have made it mentally. It’s good to have friends that you can talk to especially ones that have graduated college. It can help keep you focused to draw on their experience for needed guidance.

I’ll never forget the summer before my last year of college. We had signed a record deal with MIA records. We had recorded Mark of the Judas (my sophomore year of college) and it was about to be released. I thought for sure I was about to be on tour for months straight. I couldn’t handle the idea of waiting any longer to start my real dream. I was determined that summer that I was going to tell my parents “Fuck it! I only have one year left I’ll just come back to this later, lets rock!” I went to talk to my parents knowing they were going to be pissed, but I didn’t care. Turns out my dad was real weird about it. He didn’t get mad or anything we just had this strange conversation about how I just didn’t understand. He said once I left college I wouldn’t go back, that everything changes and it just would be to hard. We kind of left it unresolved and I left for tour.

On the last day of the tour we played New Jersey and all the MIA staff came out. Yeah, they all came out to tell us that on the day our first record was coming out we were going to be dropped. Turns out the record label we had just signed to went bankrupt. I took that as a sign and decided to finish that final year of school and get my degree.

Looking back on it I can tell you how right my dad was. Dude, I couldn’t hold my shit in college right now. It would be so hard to go back I can’t even explain. In the long run, staying in school while still rocking gave me the ability to grow as both an artist and a person. I believe it was facing all of those challenges that prepared me to live life as a modern musician. It’s funny, but the one thing I always felt was in the way of my musical career (college), ended up being the one thing that prepared me most for life as a professional musician.

Dear Dude,

I have been rocking in an established band for many years now, and our singer has caught the dreaded L.S.D (Lead Singer Disease, aka: he has gone crazy). Now, I know rocking and partying go hand in hand, but this guy seems to be taking it to the limit. Quite frankly, his spiraling out of control is bringing myself and other members of the band down. So, what is a fellow dude to do? Do I kick a little ass or do we sit him down and try talking and tell him that he seems to be going through a mid life crisis?

Thanks,
Dudes Gone Wild!

Dear Dudes Gone Wild,

Lead singers, dude, they are their own beast! But coming down with a case of the old overactive partier syndrome, well that can happen to any member. We have all seen the VH1 Behind the Music rock star cliche stories of alcohol, drug abuse, and self-destruction. It’s such an old story most people ignore, or almost, expect it. Why is this so cliche? Because, it happens a lot and it’s often times the true story. Most good musicians have a certain kind of compulsive personality that can easily turn into addiction. Not only are we compulsive by nature we are also around a lot of free booze, and well…lets just say partying. So, what’s the right move for dealing with an overactive partier in your band?

The first thing you have to do is search yourself to make sure you’re aware of all your feelings. Are you straight edge, or do you not drink? I was the sole straight edge member of my band for almost 12 years and let me tell you, it does really suck. If you’re not straight edge but you just don’t drink it’s going to be pretty much the same for you. Basically, It’s going to be lame when dudes are partying. You have to remember drinking socially can be done healthily. It is possible to only have a few drinks every once in a while, it is possible to go on tour and get rip roaring drunk a few times and still come home a relatively healthy person, shit it is even possible to have an amazing time as the only sober person in a room. It’s not all sober extremists and drunken Axl Roses,  there can be a middle ground.

Maybe, you do party and still have a problem with the level that other band members party. I would say you too have to do a little soul searching. One thing I have noticed from being around functioning alcoholics in bands (and almost every band I meet has at least one) is that they like to judge. Not to mention people with substance abuse problems sometimes like to make claims they know will hurt other people in order to misplace blame, or deal with other internal issues they may be having. It might be a hard look but you have to remember you need to make sure you have thought how your views may impair the judgment of your peers. My point is you need to make sure the judgment of your friend is coming from a place of compassion and genuine concern. Otherwise there may be some subconscious motive you may be missing.

Also, remember when anyone first starts partying they will go through a ‘honeymoon’ stage. They tend to be more social about it and will probably do everything in excess. Hopefully, after being hung over in front a whole lot of people at a show, or just being physically wrecked on tour a few times from drinking, your dude will hit his stride and mellow out. Some people (especially dudes in bands) don’t get to go through that phase of partying that most others go through in college. Lets be clear, do not use this paragraph as an excuse for inaction, use it merely to gain perspective. If you think that none of the last three paragraphs apply to your situation, then please, start communicating with him!

That’s right, after all your band members really should be your brothers and sisters. Vince Neil once said that a band isn’t really a band unless it acts like a gang and a family. I actually fully agree with him. I think if your singer is a person you have been in a band with for a while, is someone you genuinely care about as a person, and care about making music with in the future, you should express your concerns to this person and put it all out on the table. See, bands think in collective consciousness so you want to make sure your band (i.e. family) members know that abusive and aggressive self destructive behaviors are not condoned by the overall group.

At first I would try a simple short conversation. I suggest you do it alone just you and the band member in question. It’s best not to make a scene and you don’t want the member to feel like everyone is ganging up on him or her. Make sure you keep the conversation positive. Its good to start by telling the person you care about them and their friendship. You just want to put it out on the table that the partying concerns you a little and you want to make sure that the members health isn’t being neglected. Your band member may get pissed, may react angrily but people don’t like to be judged even if they are doing something wrong. Remember your friend has a right to make his or her own life choices but that doesn’t give them the right to be self-destructive. You need to acknowledge that you respect your friend’s decision but you want to put it on his or her radar that you are concerned. Friendship is a give and take, so you need to be willing to give your friend the respect to let him or her make their own decisions and they need to be willing to respect you by giving your concerns an honest ear. Try to end the conversation on something positive and leave it open to be discussed later.

This is a hard position to be in. You don’t want to make it a big deal if it isn’t, you don’t want to turn you band into a mess of personal problems, and if your not a partier you don’t want to open up the whole “I party, you don’t” argument. It’s all about intentions, keep them honest and sincere. Its probably not going to be a fun conversation but it will get the ball rolling. So look inside yourself and take a hard look at the situation from all angles. Decide whether now is the time to act and if so start a dialog. It is by opening the lines of communication you can fight dissent amongst your band members, quell any inner tensions, and most of all do the right thing as a friend.

The Dude

Dear Dude,

First off, at 28 years old, I’ve been following DH since you played about 8 years ago in an old church basement in Cincinnati so, naturally I’m a big fan. I’m in a unique situation, similar to yours. I have my Masters degree in Counseling, and a Bach’s degree in Social Work. I work now getting kids who are addicted to drugs off of them, and I love my job. I’ve been playing metal since I was 13 and my band, if I may say, melts faces. But we’ve all made a choice to play as a hobby. We love our families and our jobs here at home. But one question that keeps coming up is: Is there any way to have your music distributed on a national level (by a label or otherwise) without national touring? We just would all really love to go to Best Buy and be like “Hey, that band, Pterodactyl Battle, yeah that’s us. You can buy that here”. So, if in your spectrum of amazingness, possibly from a bubble bath, you can offer some good advice outside of giving up (heard that one), then your spectrum of awesomeness could only increase. Thanks so much (for your music and help)

Thanks,

Stay at Home Face Melter

Dear Stay at Home Face Melter,

Being in a band at home is actually harder then most people think. I have a bunch of friends who are in bands but also have other “careers.” It’s funny because when I was a kid I just thought it was all or nothing, like rock star or bust! You were either in a touring band or your band didn’t matter. Now that I have been slugging it out for this long I can tell you there are many ways of rocking in life, not just the full tilt rock star touring action. So you’re not in a touring band but you want to get your music distributed on a national level with out touring. Can it be done and if so how?

Lets get something out of the way first. Getting your CD in Bestbuy is probably not going to happen if you’re not touring. Also getting signed to a bigger independent record label is also probably not going to happen. I say ‘probably’ because you may be able to prove all of the above wrong by doing one thing: being an amazing, amazing band. Now that’s going to be really, really hard so I would think realistically. The truth is neither of these things needs to be part of your ultimate goal anyway. What I am saying is that you already have a way for your music to be distributed internationally and at very little cost to you. You already have a way to sell your product to the world without a record label OR best buy. You already have… the Internet.

First you need to record your music well. Its going to be self financed at first so play shows, do a car wash, play more shows, work a normal job whatever you need to do to get some cash. If you have a career and other band members do too, then its up to all of you to pool your money for a recording. Remember its like a tattoo, you will have it forever so be willing to spend a little bit more money and time on it then you first thought you should.

Take that recording and put it up on itunes, your website, Myspace, Pure Volume, Sound Exchange or any other website that sells MP3’s. I did that with my own band, Man and Wasp. We recorded the songs ourselves and released it on the Internet ourselves. Now we have a band that never tours, never plays, but has a record available for purchase anywhere in the world over the internet. It allows us to just keep writing songs and not have to think about the pressures of touring in a band.

If you want an actual product, well then, you can very simply start an online store. Bands of your size can get CD’s pressed themselves at places like Furnace CD. It’s actually run by the man who signed darkest hour to their first record deal. You can order say 1000 CDs and then set up a site to sell them through. It may mean doing a little more work yourself and fronting a bit more money but it will mean that you will have an internationally distributed record without having any pressure to tour what so ever.

All you have to do from here on out is promote the site. Play shows, pass out fliers, you can even “cyber” tour (you know just add friends to your myspace and promote your band via the internet). Especially if your career happens to be a boring desk job. Believe it or not you could use that cubical time to do some real “tour” work on the computer.

There is really only one reason for a record label to sign a band that is not going to tour all the time. And that’s out of pure love for that band. How many record labels in 2008 are making that decision? Lets just answer not enough. So fuck it, there is also no reason to sign to a record label if your not going to be touring or doing it full time. You don’t need them. You can do everything yourself, on your terms, and on your time line. That’s what the future of music on the Internet is really, at least I believe. Soon we will all be able to create music and distribute it ourselves straight from artist to listener.

The Dude

Dear Dude,

What should I do if I’m in a situation where the other guitarist in my band and the drummer present a new riff and I think it fuck’n blows? It’s like a ton of random notes, not appealing sounding at all, and definitely not catchy or melodic, which is what we are going for. I tried to say I didn’t like it but they keep saying WE LIKE IT. Seriously it doesn’t even go with our music at all!

Thanks,
Caught in a Mosh

Dear Caught in a Mosh,

Inter-band politics and song writing is something you almost can never get away from. Music is art and art is expression. It’s not unreasonable for someone to get emotional about his or her music. No matter what type of band scenario you’re in, you’re probably going to have to deal with something like this. So don’t fear it. This kind of tension is what writing music is all about, and it’s from this tension great riffs, songs, and records have been made. Its not easy for most people and even some of the biggest and sickest bands go through this all the time.

The first thing you need to do is search yourself. Do you really not like the riff/song idea or is there something else going on? Being in a band can be like being in perpetual high school. There are all sorts of little inter-band dynamics that can cloud both your and your band members’ judgments. So make sure you are pure at heart, and not thinking from that place in your brain that is still pissed cause the other guitar player can play the solo to Crazy Train better than you.

Next, ask is there something I can change in a slight way to make this riff not only more smoken’, but also more me? I have noticed that when this problem usually occurs the dude who thinks the riff sucks, doesn’t like the fact that there is none of his own ideas in the riff. It can be rough justice to face, but sadly, often true. Maybe add some sort of harmony, maybe you don’t like the chord progression, or maybe the riff should be faster or slower. Chances are if you are all into the same bands and clear about what type of band you’re in, there should be a way to tweak it and make it better.

Ok, what if the riff/song idea in question really does suck. In that case, what do you do when you’re presented a riff that “blows?” It’s important to be tactful, respectful, and most of all clear as to what you think is not working. When you’re working in a group situation you have to be able to work with other people, so make sure you hone in on what doesn’t work for you. That way you can work as a team to make the idea grow, or explore other options. A common misconception is that you have to make all these decisions right away. It may not hit you right away what isn’t working, so don’t be afraid to take your time while you’re writing. This doesn’t mean never commit, it just means if you need some time to come up with the critical feedback that is going to help push the song, that’s ok. So maybe keep the riff in the song as a placeholder just remember not to let it sit there too long. Bands often times don’t like change because it involves more work.

Its important to remember a band is a team, a gang, and a collective of individual voices singing together. You need those band mates and they need you. Who knows how many bad riffs I would have pushed forward if it weren’t for my band mates. Work together and find a way to communicate with your fellow bros. No one wants to be in a band with people who are unhappy with the music they are playing. No one wants to be in a band where the members are afraid to say they don’t like something. No one wants to be in a band that isn’t honest and real to what it is. So keep your band honest, communicate clearly, and be willing to share the burden of song writing. I promise it will be worth it for everyone involved when you write that first kick as song.

The Dude